Feb 19

10 Reasons You Don’t Need a Boyfriend in High School

In today’s culture boys and girls seem to be pressured from every angle to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, to hook up and to hurry up and have adult experiences and experiment while they’re young. Everything from MTV to prime time cable television seems to be urging teens to grow up and to hurry and do things now before they are ready. Well, here are 10 reasons for girls for not needing a boyfriend in high school and to prolong those dating relationships as long as possible.


  1. 99% of high school boys are after one thing from you; the other 1% you’re “just friends” with.
  2. In high school, and even into college, your brain is undergoing changes, making it difficult for you to act rationally in the moment. According to a Harvard health article, in high school your brain is being reshaped and is being flooded with a smorgasbord of hormones. Research has shown that while teenagers are likely to give the same answer as an adult in a given hypothetical situation, these changes to their body limit their capacity to interrupt an action underway (such as to stop speeding or “going all the way” with a boyfriend) or to stop and think before an action. It’s easy for a teenager to say that say they wouldn’t get in the car with a drunk driver, but in the moment, it is far more difficult for them to turn the invitation down. Not having a boyfriend in high school allows one to handle all these new changes to their bodies without added stressors to their life.
  3. You’ll skip the break up, or at least the break up that is fueled by the bodily changes I mentioned above. I’ve seen some high school break ups that made celebrity break ups look mild in comparison.
  4. You can protect your reputation better. Boys talk. Especially boys who are proud of their conquests, or who fold to social pressure in order to be the “cool guy”. Locker room conversations are not things created for the movies. They happen. And the guys talk about everything, and yes, sometimes they even make stuff up. Best to wait until the boys have a better handle on their tongue and other parts of their anatomy before you trust them with yourself.
  5. You can relax, take a break! As the father of two girls I’ve learned a thing or two about fixing hair and getting dressed. I know it takes far less time to whip your hair into a pony tail than it does to straighten or curl or whatever it is you may do to your hair. Also, every t-shirt you own matches a pair of blue jeans or sweat pants. Grab a few extra minutes of sleep and leave the hair, makeup and fretting over whether your blouse matches a certain skirt and whether you should wear the pumps or the flats for when it really matters. This also allows boys to see who you really are without all the fluff, and if they don’t like it, then you didn’t need them anyways.
  6. You’re not getting married. Listen, I get it. You’ve been planning your Disney Princess wedding since you were five, but you’re not going to marry the boy you date in high school. You can argue all you want, but statistically speaking high school relationships do NOT end in marriage. They may have 50 years ago, and occasionally they do now, but more often than not they do not last.
  7. Use this time to learn to be an individual. When you were young, you had very little freedom. Your parents or guardian did everything for you and told you what to do and when to do it. As you got older and moved into middle school, you began to gain a bit more responsibility and freedom. Now in high school, you likely have a lot more freedom while still under the protective supervision of your parents. Take advantage of this time and learn to be YOU. Not “You and So-and-so”. You’re choosing what happens after high school. Will you backpack across Europe? Will you attend college? Will you start your own business? This time of freedom should be spent on deciding how YOU want to spend your life, and if you don’t know who you are and what you want, then you could fall into the trap of just following never realizing your hopes and dreams.
  8. You can be strong. I know it’s 2016, but let’s face it: a strong woman is still an intimidating concept. Now I’m not one that is saying women don’t need men or vice versa. I believe that both men and women can do great things on their own, but a strong man and a strong woman working together can accomplish amazing things. Use this time in high school to develop skills, passions and education to become that strong woman of tomorrow. And if you intimidate the boys, well, to be frank, you probably didn’t need those boys in your life. One that can appreciate you as you are will come along soon enough.
  9. You can observe. My wife told me when we got married that she prayed for three specific things about the man she wanted to marry. She may wish she was a bit more specific in her prayers now, but during her time in high school she was able to observe the men in her life and see if they matched those qualities before allowing herself to be pursued. Being “boy crazy” makes it difficult to observe the qualities, both good and bad, of the boys around you. I think it a foolish notion that the only way to get to know someone is to date them. I know that this boy was ALWAYS on his best behavior when on a date, but in a large group of friends, my guard came down and the “real” me came out. You can learn plenty about someone before you make the choice to become exclusive through various social settings.
  10. I fear that in today’s culture that girls feel they only have value if they have a boy in their life. This is simply not true. Ladies, hear me when I say that your value is not found in some boy, nor should it ever. It is found in a relationship with Jesus Christ. The One who hung the moon and the stars and who numbered the hairs on your head, cares about you deeply and loves you. He has designed you and given you a spectacular array of talents. How much more valued do you have to be other than “fearfully and wonderfully made?”